Sunday, 22 March 2015
This is not my usual entry. It will be vague and you may not understand exactly what I am talking about, but I have to write about it a little. For the past little while I have been worried about the future and what it holds. I think I assumed it would be a path that is expected, but within the last 6-9 months I have realized that what I assumed my future will be, well it may not come to light. What if the future is a lot more difficult, sad, and lonelier then I expected. How strong am I? I know we adapt, and I am strong, but when I imagine a future I expected could be shattered with some bad new, well it is keeping me up at night.
By the end of the week my life could change drastically. Someone may have the answers we have been waiting for, but will that make me happy or sad? The sad thing is I can't share how I am feeling with anyone, not yet. If it was said out loud I am afraid that I might scare them as well, but I am worried. What if the path to come is so much scarier then I ever dreamed? How strong will I be?